Ha Ha! Very funny. "He's on about his cock. LOL" - seriously... No, really! That's so funny! You're not the only one who thought it though... So, forget it now. You had a snigger, a bit of a chuckle to yourself, now leave it.
Thanks. NOW! I come from one of those families that don't judge a paper by it's content, political stance, reputation or price. No, my Dad has, and always will, pick up The Mirror in the week and The Sunday Mirror and The People on a Sunday. No reason, he just has, does and will. So I've become used to Andy Capp, WAGs, anti-internet guff (did you know it "causes depression" now? Hmmm, page 29 - today) and those "problem page" questions like "My hot step-sister seduced me, we ended up having hot sex in a canoe. Do I have to tell my wife?" or whatever... Rubbish. Like ALL the other newspapers. They should take all the good stuff and make ONE newspaper called "The Good Stuff" and sell that. It'd be thin - Charlie Brooker and the TV listings and not much else - but I'd buy it!
Anyway, I digress... Today I rediscovered something that first riled me many moons ago, when I was just a cheeky teen. On the "Your Letters" page, on the right, is an inch wide column containing, presumably, all the stuff they are being blackmailed to include. You've got Greg's Giggle - a kind of "joke book" for boring old fuckers like my Dad (I love him, but let's face it, that's YOUR Dad too) that offers up such classics as "An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman went into a bar. The bartender says..." etc. As if we haven't heard them before! BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH!!!
UNDER Greg's presumably thought-up-while-typing-or-stolen-from-Tommy-Cooper joke is a section they like to call "Question Time". Dimbleby this is NOT! Today's question is about the origins of a football team's nickname. Then the idea is the answer is provided by a reader and printed tomorrow or whatever... BUT THEY'RE NOT QUESTIONS! They're just snippets of stuff people are too fucking lazy to look up for themselves, instead opting to both claim their 5 minutes of fame by having their name printed AND look like a dumb fuck all at once. THIS is the most pointless square-inch in existence. FACT.
I used to get told off by my Mum for "relying on the Internet" for info when compiling my school projects. She's always said that Google is inferior to the good ol' fashioned PAPER Encyclopedia. And I agree. I'd rather pick up a book than log on any day. Whether it be for info or merriment. So why don't the readers of The Mirror do the same?! It's just lazy and attention-seeking. I'm going to put the question I have typed above (bold) to the readers, see if they can answer me themselves.
Oh, by the way, Lost Season 6 is two episodes in and awesome already. Rant Ends. Thanks.